news article -- Domestic violence an old issue

Domestic violence an old issue
By Natalie White, Standard-Times staff writer
NewStandard: 7/10/96

In the days of the Roman Empire, husbands could legally kill their wives and children if they felt the family's dignity was threatened.
That empire is history, and domestic homicide is outlawed, but echoes of those values remain in contemporary society, experts on violence say.
Yesterday, a 20-year-old Fairhaven man was arraigned in the brutal stabbing deaths of his 18-year-old girlfriend and their 8-week-old baby. Upset with her boyfriend, the mother had left their apartment last week, but returned home Monday night with the couple's infant son.
Both she and the baby were dead within 90 minutes. The boyfriend was arrested at his father's graveside yesterday morning.

The tragedy has shocked many in the community. Yet, to those who deal with family violence, such cases do not come as a surprise.
"This kind of violence isn't new. It's been happening for thousands of years," said Dr. John Waters, a pastoral psychotherapist, psychologist and clinical director of Interfaith Counseling. "It's a tradition. Sadly, a slow-changing tradition."
Since spring of last year, 32 women and three children in Massachusetts were murdered by batterers.
"This case adds two more to those numbers," said Gerry Garvey, executive director of the New Bedford Women's Center. She said a woman is murdered by a spouse every 12 days in Massachusetts.
The women's center hotline has handled more than 4,000 calls since the beginning of this year.
At St. Luke's Hospital in New Bedford, health professionals deal frequently with the black eyes, choke marks, bruises -- and the cover-up lies and excuses -- of domestic violence. Occasionally, they also deal with the deaths.
"This kind of case is distressing," said Dr. Daniel Shea. "But I can't say that this kind of case comes as a surprise. We don't have statistics, but we're seeing a fair amount of domestic violence injuries. We're seeing what leads up to a case like this."
Dr. Michael Murphy, a forensic psychologist who works with violent prisoners as a consultant, said the murderer in such cases often sees the family members not as individuals, but as an extension of himself.
The violence can be set off by any number of events, such as a humiliating arrest, a spouse leaving the relationship, the threat of divorce, loss of job or money troubles.
"His thinking is that the family is at risk, so he will take the whole family out of existence. Often, this goes along with suicide as well," said Dr. Murphy of Cape Cod, who has recently written an inspirational book about being a father titled "Popsicle Fish: Tales of Fathering."
This "maladaptive thinking," said Dr. Murphy, can lead to murder and violence, and is often accompanied by substance abuse.
Dr. Murphy said that nationally, overall violent crimes are on the decline, but among certain sub-populations -- young males in particular -- these crimes are on the rise. Society needs to do a better job of teaching children to control their aggressive impulses and also to help children understand how their actions can hurt others, Dr. Murphy said.
While a particular event may push a batterer from abuser to murderer, domestic violence experts said the profile of a batterer isn't one of someone who has momentarily slipped into a state of wild uncontrollable rage.
"We want to believe that batterers become so enraged that they commit these acts when they're totally out of control -- that they just go blank, lose their minds. That isn't so," Ms. Garvey said. "Murder is about the ultimate control. If they can't control this person any other way, they can do it this way."
Linda Aguiar of Our Sisters' Place in Fall River agreed.
"You don't know what will make the situation escalate. Maybe losing a job, or it could be something else. But the murder is a way of taking control. Not losing it. You notice he's not losing control with his boss, or at another driver. No. He knows what he's doing and who he's doing it to," Ms. Aguiar said.
Dr. Waters said batterers are tied to a "pathological belief system" that sees people as belongings, not human beings.
"Today, killing your wife and your children is illegal. But it's still happening all too often," Dr. Waters said. "When you try to figure out why or where it all started, you just keep peeling back the skin on the onion. It just goes back and back and back."

Taken from: http://archive.southcoasttoday.com/daily/07-96/07-10-96/a02lo021.htm